Man-da

My insides are twisted.

2005-03-11T21:01:31Z

Uhh. My stomach hurts. I'm at work, bored as fuck, with an excruciating headache. I have to stay here all weekend; I don't know what I going to do with myself. This place is dead like a piece of filet mignon on weekends. Uggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

I got an A on my psych exam. You'll notice this consistent pattern on here. I complain and whine about the exam, then swear on my soul I failed it, but then I end up doing great. It's this little scheme I have, I won't say anymore in fear of jinxing myself.

Bah. I want to bash my head in the wall. Guess I'll go and sleep on the desk till 6. Wee.

Cheerio.

I'M BACK FUCKERS.

2005-03-03T21:30:48Z

Yes, I've kind of disregarded this thing for awhile. But I have time on my hands for once, so meh. Last semester went great, despite all the complaining and doubts. I actually made Dean's List. Pshaw.

I saw the Used and My Chemical Romance Tuesday. MCR was good, I've seen The Used play better, but all in all it was great. Accept the fact that the dome didn't let us in til 8 (doors supposed to open @ 7) so we had to wait in the fucking blizzard for an hour and a half. I've honestly, never been so cold in my life. Bert is a fucker.

I AM GOING TO SEE SLASH!!!! I was so excited when I found out, my mom asked me if I had an orgasm. Haha. Seriously though, the man gives me chills. So much fucking raw emotion in his shredding, it just totally envelopes me in a[n] utopia. Not to mention Duff, the man who made me pick up a bass. I give sole credit to Rocket Queen for that one. So even though VR is pretty bland, IT'S S-L-A-S-H! People say, 'uhh, fuck, uhh, GNR is dead, uhh.' Yeah, well not in my dreams.

I'm super hyped to see Motely Crue also. Fucking fab. And. AND.

IRON MAIDEN ON OZZFEST! I guess it's like 95% sure. I shat myself when I found out. They're one of the bands on my list to see once before I die.

In other news, I just took a developmental psych exam, of which I failed, miserably. No work tonight, which is why I'm here typing aimlessly. I've finally.....finally, decided on my first tattoo. On my lower inner forearm, I want the GNR rose and below it curving up, the GNR banner from Appetite. I made up my mind last night while watching UYI2 Live, and it just fucking blows me away and moves me so much. No other band makes me feel like that, and GNR has been there from the start for me. A lot of my happy childhood memories are GNR related, and that means the world to me. They remind me of the happiness in life, and take me there. Blah blah. Maybe I can bum a ride off Rach why she's home, if I have enough money to get it done right now.

Jean Piaget and his sensorimotor stages can go to hell.

OK. I'm done for now. It's a happy day.

P.S. Blink didn't break up you dipshits. They're taking a break, hence the whole 'indefinate hiatus' thing.

Connect the dots daddy.

2004-11-18T05:13:43Z

You suprise me, i'm looking out, looking out
suprise me you jump back up
on your feet somehow
suprise me, i'm looking out, looking out
suprise me you jump back up on your
[Screams]

where'd you go
seems like your better half said it all
your wonderful
seems like your better half said it all

suprise me, i'm looking out, looking out
suprise me you jump back up
on your feet somehow
suprise me, i'm looking out, looking out
suprise me you jump back up onto your
[Screams]

where'd you go
seems like your better half said it all
your wonderful
seems like your better half said it all
you jumped back up
motivation, motivation
[Screams]

where'd you go
seems like your better half said it all
your wonderful
seems like your better half said it all
where'd you go
seems like your better half said it all
your wonderful
seems like your better half said it

___________________________________

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

_______________________________________-

Do you wanna know what I think of you?
'cause you're not the way I thought you should be
to take back what you said
it's time to fix, it's time to fix your head

And now all alone, one's less than two
I've never been better off living lonely
to listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

What did you think of me acting this way
I guess you never really thought at all
Is that what you call your brain?
Is that why I call, you hang up on me?

I wanted to know, I didn't want to lose
and now I'm a man who's just living small
listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

To me as I walk alone I'd
much rather be riding prone, then
to be just another one you are lame to

I wanted to know, I didn't want to lose
but now I'm a man who's just living small
to listen to what you say
I couldn't care less of what you say

To me as I tune you out of my mind
won't bend over backwards or
take another step ahead to
hear from you again

Don't talk to me as I walk alone, I'd
much rather be riding prone, than
be just another one you're lame to

Don't talk to me as I tune you out of my mind
I won't bend over backwards or
take another step ahead to
hear from you again

Don't talk to me as I walk alone, I'd
much rather be riding prone, than
to be just another one you are lame to

__________________________________________

The singer finished singing and she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear, her fear of falling out
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried

It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same

My worries weigh the world, how I used to be
And everything, I'm cold, seems a plague in me
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried

It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, it's not the same

Worse than the fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before
Worse than a fear it's the knife
But it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried

It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, I'm not the same
It's hard to say (God, it's hard to say)
Since you've been gone,
I'm not the same.

FUCK MY ASS

2004-11-17T22:43:08Z

I would totally piss my pants if I ever experienced The Used playing Choke Me live. Totally.

That is all.

Ska.

2004-11-17T21:52:14Z

I'm in a ska mood today--thank you Lysha! It's a nice change.

I bought 3 new cds from Amazon. Eighteen Visions- Obesession, Bouncing Souls- Summercamp one, and Warrent- CHERRY PIE!! But I need to stop putting things on my credit card. I haven't gotten a bill for over a month, and I know I gotta be gettin near my whopping $300 max. And I don't want to go overboard. I'm glad I haven't got a biill--who wouldn't, but still, I don't want it to come back and bite me in the ass. Which it most llkely will.

I should be studying for a Psych test right now that's tomorrow. We haven't even gone over the fucking last chapter but she's still testing. Bitch. So chp 9, 10, 11, and 12 on one test, and we spent a record 5 classes going over it...all. And Chp 9 alone is fucking 40 pages.

Whatever, as long as I pass, I'll be happy.

Tiger Army makes me extremely happy.

I'm going to Slayer this weekend. I don't know with who, but I'm going.

I'm getting my nose pierced this weekend.

I'm seeing my daddy in a week, I miss him. He needs to come home. He doesn't belong where he is.

I like this whole one sentence thing.

I really like From Autmn to Ashes now. Anyone wanna send me the album via AIM? I'm uber poor.

Sparks.

2004-11-16T06:22:35Z

Round and round
What goes around comes around.

Let's get ROCK!!

Average, ordinary, everyday, kid.

Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.

Too fast, too fast for love!

Random lyrics popping in my head.

YOU WANT A SONG OF GLORY? WELL, I'M FUCKING SCREAMING IT AT YOU!!

HArd to say how I feel today, when years gone by. And I cry.

It's hard to say I miss you. <3 >come home<

It'll be OK Ira. It will.

jenniferhopez @ 2004-11-15T00:12:00

2004-11-15T06:13:25Z

Dudes. I just drooled.

I didn't die.

2004-11-15T01:36:15Z

I know it's been awhile. But I barely had enough time to breathe. It sucks. I'm doing a paper right now comparing and contrasting Roman Catholicism and Baptist. JOY. Only supposed to be 4 pages--it's already 8. I just wanna write: What they both have in common--bullshit. But, I kinda really need an A or something remotely close for this class. I'm so confused right now. How can you say you love somebody and are going to marry them when you've never met them. I'm not perfect. Not even relativly close. Why won't you listen?! Stop sending me stuff, you don't even know me! [end rant]

Jay and Silent Bob is on. Yeehaww. I've already started my X mas shopping, as sparce as the money is this year. I wish it was the 80's. You have no idea. I watched 100 Most Metal Moments this weekend [again] and I just get this incredible surge. It was so fun and carefree. I want that. It was the height in music. I want to experience that. Even though I did skip around dancing on tables to GNR and pretending to marry Axl in '89... But it's like a whole different realm. When I listen to my 80's CDs I am so happy. Then I go outside. To a world of rap and hate. What the fuck happened to good old rockin out!? I want the Aquanet days to return!! Haha, I'm psycho. But it's weird. I have my pop punk days, emo days, hardcore days, 80's day, and metal days. But I think it's safe to say now that I'm a true metalhead at heart. Totally opposite of what you would expect. Regardless of my everlasting love for Blink 182.

My neck hurts. I have to have neck surgery this summer because my fucking doctor screwed up last surgery. I'll explain later. So instead of working and getting a few courses out of the way, I have that to look forward to. Such as life.

I hate when people use big vocabulary and have no idea what the fuck their talking about. They just want to look smart. Well, you don't, assmunches. And for those of you preaching that excessive use of curse words shows a lack of intelligence, fuck you. It's a stress to get your point across, delivering the message that you mean business. And it's a stress reliever. Go outside and yell 'Fuck!', you'll feel like that stick has been removed from your ass.

Trippin.

2004-11-04T19:28:55Z

I love this CD. thank you Ira, you rule. Even if I get hoho poisoning because of you. And you're a male bitch. <3

Vastness.

2004-11-03T19:10:56Z

I hate being poor.

Give me money.

Hot.

2004-11-01T17:49:33Z

Deryck Whibley may be by far, one of the most ugly human beings ever. But he has the hottest voice I can honestly think of. And he's in a band, and it rocks. Needless to say, I love Bizzy D.

All Hallow's Eve!

2004-11-01T04:41:12Z

YAy!! It's All Hallow's Eve, aka, Halloween. Quite possibly my most favorite holiday. But it blew this year. 1) IT CANT BE ON A FUCKING SUNDAY and 2) I'm not where I want to be tonight (hehe). But really. I'm not in toronto having the time of my life. You know how depressing that is?! But whatever. AFI swallowed my despair. That's why I love them. I can always count on them. I want to watch a scary movie tonight, but I don't know what. I REALLLLLY feel like watching House of 1000 Corpses, but I don't have it. I just bought shoes...with my credit card...dkrsjgnskdfcj. But I could'nt pass up the deal. This weekend I watched Halloween 2, The Exorcist, Dawn of the Dead, The Omen 2, Scary Movie 2 and Misery. It was good. But no one would go see Saw with me. Pansies.

I GOT AN 83.7 ON MY PSYCH EXAM. Fucking A that rocks. I'm so proud of myself. It helps, a lot.

My ideal Halloween is going to a cemetary at dusk, doing grave rubbings, then having a bonfire there when the darkness comes (o, i'm full of music puns today). Then partying like mad, telling fucked up stories. RAD. I'm going to do it somedday, I just have to find people as fucked up as me to go with. Le sigh.

I need money. skdjnsoifjwseokfm.

I miss my daddy. I want him to come home. Where he belongs. I'm never going to sleep tonight. I slept til 1:30 today, so I'll be up all night, and I have to get up early tomorrow. Dammit.

Awakening.

2004-10-29T18:08:52Z

I forgot how fucking kick ass AFI was. DF reunion. I miss you guys and the good times. I think I'll write to Anjie. <3

walknfsoicjnvsekjnfsjn makes me wanna kick a hole in the wall. skdnfsoij. Genious.

Procrastination is beautiful.

2004-10-29T03:29:40Z

I'm supposed to be working right now. For all this complaining I do about too much work, I seem to do a lot of nothing. Like now. Radio station was lame tonight, but I got out early. Bio was so interesting today, I read Lord of the Rings. And Psych was so enlightening I drifted off in an exilerating day dream. Ironic. My life is so lame.

Halloween this weekend. To prepare, I must listen to AFI's remake of The Misfit's Halloween prefusely. Then watch scary movies all tomorrow night. I want to see Saw this weekend. ON Halloween, I've always wanted to go to a cemetary and do grave rubbings. I've been wanting to do this for 10 years. I was a freak child. Still am. I love the feeling on brisk fall nights, when you crunch the fallen leaves. But soon after it's just death. Halloween seems to bring that death. After Halloween, it just sucks. You want the leaves to come back.

I have to get up early tomorrow. Fudkjfngsck. My tuition was raised 75 a month for no good reason. Bitches.
I'm feeling vulgar tonight.
Cunt.

People are annoying.

I gave 2 bucks to charity tonight. I feel happy.

Funny how feelings contradict each other and result in blah.

A breath.

2004-10-28T18:49:33Z

I lied.

PS

2004-10-28T04:06:28Z

FYI- Shakespeare sucks balls.

Life is a bitch.

2004-10-28T03:59:03Z

My back aches. I want food, but I'm not hungry. That can't be good. Classes were lame. Working on my exam essay today, and doesn't the power go out half way through my essay. And of course I didn't save. Amanda was pissed. I had a stupid play to go to tonight, biggest waste of an hour and a half of my life. I can't think straight. My thoughts are clouded for some reason. Lack of sleep? I'm trying to make this thing pretty, but it's not happening. Anyone who wants to be of assistance, feel free. I don't feel like writing much now, maybe later.

Isn't it the best when you dig out a CD you haven't listened to in soooo long, and listen to it? Brings nice memories back.

Nice boys don't play rock n roll.

Hump Day`

2004-10-27T16:43:22Z

It's Wednesday. Wednesday's suck. Wed.nes.day.

I'm writing because I love this song.

I got a 78 on my religion midterm, rather good considering I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And I wrote about the wrong thing on the essay, but still did good I guess because the information I did opresent was correct, ever though it had no relavence to the question. And it's and honors class, so I did good. I was going for a 70. I always outdo myself [roll eyes]. Humm.

I'll write more later. I need to cook ramen noodles. Again.

jenniferhopez @ 2004-10-26T22:10:00

2004-10-27T03:50:50Z

I'm finally settling down for the night, rather early. I have an American Government test tomorrow--which isn't easy. I had a psych test today--it was brutal. She gives us way too much information to remember for one test. She crams 4 chapters into one test. On average, we spend one and a half days per chapter. Brain overload. I know everything, and I've never spend more time studying for one test...Ever. But despite that, I don't think I did very well. I bombed the first one, and there's only two more left. So I honestly don't know how I'm going to pass this course. And it's only an introductory course. Diretly pertaining to my major. I'm a double major in Psych/Criminal Justice and a double minor in Sociology and Social Science. My plate is full. But in the long run I hope it pays off, I'd love to get a great job in forensic psychology. That sort of thing interests me a lot, probably stemming from my obssesion with horror movies which presented itself at a young age. But being accustomed to getting A's and the occasional B, these low grades are hitting me hard. College is a totally different scheme from high school, I haven't quite gotten used to this yet, but I better soon. Or else my honor status and scholarship status are going to be put into jeopardy. Blah. That shit blows. I can't afford 25 grand a year, let alone get into Duke with shitacular grades. So this stress is coming down on me hard, added to work, and the loss of loved ones. My only escape as of now has been my stereo. And how glorious it has been. I've been listening to the new Used CD a lot lately--it covers such a wide variety of emotions, which seems appropriate at this time.

My uncle is hooking me up with tickets for the Sum 41 show!! They're playing with Good Charlotte, Lola Ray and Hazen St. The latter two I've heard of but never heard. I don't like GC's new stuff, but I'll live. So as of right now it's me, Rach, Jim, Dan, Gary, and Chris going. I don't know Dan, but I bet he kicks ass. Green Day is soon and I'm o so sad I'm not going now because my brother fucked up and I don't have a ride. And perhaps the most depressing thing--I don't think I'm going to see the Used on Halloween now. Unforeseen events came up, and I didn't push the ticket thing because I thought we weren't going. But I thought wrong and now I'm shit out of luck. Even if my friend pulls through at the last minute, I still might not be able to go due to personal reasons. I'm sorry Rachel, Jim, and Dan. I knew you guys were so excited, and now I feel like a piece of shit. But we will reconcial 11.13!! Slayer 11.20 anybody??

Have you ever had the cops called on you? I can truthfully can say I have. For bullshit accusations.
Fuck.

She went without me and got a tattoo. Bitch.
;)

I have to go do Religion work now. Not by choice. At Niagara University there is a requirement for 3 religion courses. That's what you get at a Catholic University. All the more reason to crank Manson. At the strangest times I feel like going up to father and tell him I'm a satanist. Which isn't true, but I'd love to hear his response. I won't get into it tonight, but to me, religion is bullshit. It's all hypothetical, nothing has valid proof. I guess I look at it more from a scientific viewpoint.

My name is Jennifer Hopez. And I like tacos.
New South Park tomorrow!!

My grandma is answering the riddles of life. I'm happy that she can come to her realization before it's too late. She keeps telling me, "I love you every month, every year, every minute, every day and every second." I love you too Grandma.

I cannot resist the conformity.

2004-10-27T02:08:50Z

I'm on live journal. Yes. I need a place to unload the hectic world of my mind, so, why not. I have to take a shower now because I stink, I'll update later.

esfbnsd

2004-10-26T21:08:52Z

this fucking piece of shit.